Upside Down, Inside Out
by 1Pagan3
Summary: Preseries. Sam's having trouble with their latest move, but when he stumbles into a class experiment, his family wonders if he's being affected by outside influences, and the end results could completly shatter their family.
1. Chapter 1

AN: Ok, either I'm extremely talented or completly demented... at the moment, I don't want to know which. This story wouldn't even be posted right now at this moment if it hadn't been for Sammygirl1967's enthusiasm for the story... so, SG - this one's for you.. .enjoy! ;)

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Kripke's, the CW's or Warner Bros... however I wouldn't mind getting a share of the rights for Christmas (yes, I can dream!).

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Dean looked at the person sitting next to him and started to worry. He knew his brother was having a hard time with this move but nothing he'd tried had pulled Sammy out of his funk. Sure, this past summer had been a little busier than usual, but overall it hadn't been that bad... and Sammy had been able to stay in this last school for a semester, a record in the Winchester household. He was happy with life because it had been his 1st summer as a High School graduate and he now didn't have to worry about boring teachers. Sammy on the other hand loved school and hated any time off from it. Leaning back in the leather seat of the Impala, Dean remembered that his brother had actually tried to convince their Dad once that a temperature of 104 was considered the new normal, just so he could participate in the school spelling bee. Needless to say Dad wasn't convinced and later laughed with Dean that most kids try to play sick to get _out_ of school; but leave it to their Sammy to try and play well to get _into_ school. Smirking to himself at the memory, Dean gave the Impala more gas to keep up with their Dad.

Sam couldn't help himself, he couldn't seem to pull himself out of his mood and it mainly had to do with moving from the last town and leaving another school behind. Not just any school... the first school that he was known as Sam Winchester, and not Dean's little brother. The first school that he had actually made friends who didn't seem to care about their weird family or the type of clothes he wore. The first school that he had been able to stay in for a grand total of twenty two weeks. Now he had to start over - again - and this time he was sure he wouldn't be so lucky.

John knew that the next couple of weeks were going to be hell at home. Sammy hated moving after getting settled and this time he only had himself to blame, he hadn't found another hunt fast enough. Sighing, he looked at the rear view mirror and saw the Impala following with Dean content in the driver's seat, and Sammy staring moodily out the window. 'Why can't things ever be easy?' he asked himself before going over the new information in his head. A suspected cult had made itself at home in a small town of Waterford, Missouri and they apparently were trying to stick to some of the old time rituals of human sacrifices. Unfortunately, the local police department were treating the victims as suicides and not looking into any other leads.

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Waterford, Missouri was a small town that prided itself on being a tight nit community that welcomed new comers, an oddity in itself, but John wasn't going to complain. 'Maybe they won't get in our business too much.' He thought thinking about a hunt that went horribly wrong when the townspeople kept getting in the way and ended in someone getting killed and Sammy in the hospital. Shaking that image off, he walked up to the clerk at the gas station and inquired about a motel for him and his boys.

"Ah, tell me you'll be sticking around for awhile… we need new blood in this town, seems that all the young 'uns are going off away from home. But you didn't ask about that… sorry, no motel, but there are a few rentals that I know of. Good people who rent them out too. Now you just wait here…" the man said as he walked to the back room of the store, leaving a very bewildered John behind. A few moments later, the man was back again with two cards in hand. "Now Dee Dee Franks is as sweet as can be, but about as dipsy as they come too; she has a real nice two bedroom house over on Ninth Street two blocks from the High School that she likes to rent out to newcomers just to make them feel more at home… Oh, but don't think twice about the hat. Now Dobber Mullins rents out a slightly bigger home on the other side of town, but truth be told, I don't recommend it; the neighbors are nosey and he finds any reason he can to drop in for a visit. My name is Josey Crain, and if you think my name is funny now, wait until your hear the story about how my daddy named his only boy after a girl."

John's head was swimming; he hadn't had a conversation like that in… well, ever. Now he had to go and explain to his two boys how they had to hunt down an old woman who liked strangers and had a thing about weird hats. 'Maybe moving wasn't that great of an idea after all.' He thought as he walked to the Impala to fill the boys in, hoping that by the end of the day they wouldn't have to sleep in the cars.

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After a short phone conversation with a woman who tried to talk as if she was still a teenager, the Winchester men arranged to meet Ms. Franks at the house for a "guided tour". Not knowing what to expect, all three were surprised to see a small house with an attached garage and a white picket fence surrounded the postage stamp yard making Dean want to hurl and Sam look at it with morbid curiosity.

As the three walked through the small gate in front John wanted to scoop the boys up in his arms and run the opposite direction, ignoring the fact that both boys could carry him if the situation called for it. In his mind's eye, he knew that anything this 'normal' had to be evil… no question about it.

The front door opened and an older woman that could have been a Cindy Lauper reject came bouncing down the front steps complete with a big flouncy hat that had a stuffed parakeet attached bouncing in the wind attached firmly to her head with a polka dotted scarf. Stopping in mid stride, John couldn't take his eyes off the moving horror he saw before him, and in his peripheral vision he saw both boys looking at each other in shock. Not sure how to handle the situation that was fast approaching, the great hunter forced himself to stand his ground and not cringe when the creature before him screeched out a welcome.

"Oh my! What wonderful boys you have, just like my Johnny and Jackie. You are going to love this house. Oh and the parade goes right by the house before it connects with Main Street… well… come on, so I can show you around…" she said as she walked back into the house talking the whole way.

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Dean had no idea what to expect when Monday morning came. They had agreed to the house not out of courtesy buy out of necessity, apparently Ms. Franks, or Dee Dee as she insisted on being called, had already got it in her head that they were renting the house and needed all the coddling they could get. Going into the kitchen he wasn't surprised to see Sammy sitting at the small table eating cereal while listening to Ms… uh, Dee Dee carry on about how breakfast was the most important meal of the day. Looking at his overly polite little brother, he saw the look of near panic in Sammy's eyes and would have laughed if it wasn't so serious. 'How the hell are we supposed to do our job if we have to deal with the groupie who wouldn't die?' he thought disturbed that their dad wasn't up yet, then thought about it some more and realized that dad had already hightailed it out of there. 'Bastard!'

Sam didn't know what to do, he couldn't tell Ms… uh, Dee Dee to leave, she was just being nice, but he and Dean needed to talk about the research that he and Dad had turned up earlier. Sighing hard enough that he almost choked on his cereal, he wasn't prepared for the Old Bird to come swooping down on him with a pat on the back and a large glass of juice.

"My goodness Sammy, are you ok? I turn my back for a moment and you almost die on me… how in the world would I have explained that to your daddy?" the familiar screechy voice exclaimed as she continued to pound on Sam's back.

Dean couldn't decide if he wanted to laugh until he passed out or rescue his brother. Deciding rescue was the Big Brother thing to do; he walked across the kitchen and called out to his obviously distressed brother. "Come on Sammy, we need to get you enrolled in school. Chop Chop!"

Not knowing if he should kick or kiss his brother, he did the next best thing; he followed Dean out the door all the while telling Ms. Franks… uh, _Dee Dee_ that it was "nice talking to her but he had to go and well, you know how it is." When he got into the passenger side of the Impala he heard Dean laughing in the driver's seat. "Shut up, Dean!"

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Dean had the urge to take his baby brother and run. He had never before seen a town that was a combination of Mayberry and The Twilight Zone, and he wasn't sure how much longer he could take staying in this one. Sammy sat next to him in a wooden chair outside the principal's office waiting for the man to finish looking over the transcripts they brought him. Looking at the clock again, he was starting to get more edgy and he wasn't sure why. He knew that the office secretary was a woman in her early fifties who immediately set about doting on his little brother, trying to do everything she could to make their wait as comfortable as possible and assuring Dean that 'Sam will be in wonderful hands, we keep only the very best teacher's here.' Somehow that didn't help lessen his fears.

The door opened and a man with snow white hair and a beard to match walked out of the office marked Principal and motioned the two Winchester's inside. Before they even had a chance to sit down Principal Martin started to speak. "Now, I usually insist on the parents to come in an personally enroll their child, however Dee Dee called and explained about your father's work and how his previous case got horrendously out of hand and that all three of you were needing a nice quiet town for a change and he was in the process of fixing up your home."

Sam looked at his brother in shock and couldn't get his vocal chords to work. Dean, however, didn't have much of a problem getting over his amazement and asked, "She told you what our dad does for a living?"

Mr. Martin just gave a non committal nod while looking over Sam's transcripts again before turning his attention back to the boys. "Oh yes, she told me all about how your father is in personal security and that you boys sometimes helps out. That is quite admirable of both of you, helping others."

Not sure what else needed to be said, both boys nodded their heads and chose wisely to keep their mouths shut, making mental notes to find out what was going on as soon as they got home.

"Now, I assume that you would like to be called Sam, is that correct?" Mr. Martin asked as he looked across his desk and addressed the youngest Winchester. At Sam's nod, he smiled and quickly went back to his perusing of school records. "Well Sam, I have you're schedule and I am sure that you will excel in your studies if the previous semester is any judge. You will have a couple of AP classes one in English and the other in Science since you were doing well in them, if you start having any problems either in class or outside of school please remember my door is always open. Do you have any questions?"

Noting earlier that most of the students wore what was considered casual dress, Sam nodded and asked "Is there a dress code?" Dean couldn't believe that his brother would worry about something like that, but then again it wasn't hard to look back on their track record with schools that insisted on uniforms.

"No, we encourage freedom of expression here; within reason of course, nothing vulgar or offensive."

'That should be easy enough.' Dean and Sam thought thinking about their sparse clothing that didn't dare attract attention except for how worn out they normally were.

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Sam couldn't believe his luck, Dean didn't insist on walking him to class to get the layout of the school. He suspected that overabundance of 'normal' had gotten to his brother and he had decided to find a pool game or two to hustle. Looking at his schedule and the map he was given, he found his AP Biology class and heard the tail end of the conversation in the room as he walked in.

When the conversation came to what appeared to be an abrupt stop, Sam looked hesitantly towards the teacher. "Uh, I just started today and Mr. Martin…"

"Of course... Sam Winchester! You are just in time to participate in the ongoing Behavioral Experiment. Please, please come in!"

By the end of class, Sam had been filled in that the experiment consisted of only those currently in that class with the permission of only one parent and the agreement that the experiment was not to be discussed with anyone outside the classroom, that an in-depth report would be turned in weekly with a journal also being kept daily. It was all voluntary, however would consist of a quarter of the semester grade, meaning that if a student did not participate the highest they would hope to achieve would be a 75 percent for the semester. The biggest shock was actually what the experiment entailed. Every student had to identify what type of person (or stereotype) they and others considered them to be, and then over a period of no more than two weeks change into another type and stay that way until two weeks before the semester ended. At the end of the experiment, there was to be a school wide parent/student assembly and the results would be announced, the results being how others perceived the student after their change.

Sam was fascinated with the prospect of seeing what would happen. He already knew how appearances affected people's opinions of others, but he was more curious to see how it would affect the small town where everyone seemed to know everyone. Knowing that having a 'C' for his semester grade would be completely unacceptable by his, as well as potential colleges, standards, he quickly agreed to take a permission slip to his dad so he could participate.

Looking around the room he had spoken to the others in his class and had determined that each person was trying to pick some type that was considered so far out of their norm, and Sam couldn't help but agree. So when someone suggested one for him it didn't take him but a moment to nod. "Goth it is!"

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AN: Bet you weren't expecting that were you? Uh huh... so, what do you think? Let me know! 


	2. Chapter 2

John was sitting at the kitchen table, trying to ignore Ms… uh… Dee Dee, while looking at the newspapers that were laid out in front of him. To say that it was odd to have someone almost constantly stopping in for a visit was a strong understatement for the Winchester's. However, John had found her to be an excellent source on local history and some of the legends that surrounded the town, for that he felt that he could grant her the courtesy of her making breakfast and having them over for Sunday dinner. Recalling how Dean had paled when he was told that first Sunday where they were going and what they were doing, John smiled wickedly. 'The boy can face a Zombie or a Poltergeist without blinking, but faced with an old woman he cringes in fear.' He thought amused at how he could hold it over his oldest son's head somewhere in the future.

"Now John, I know that you and those boys are still trying to get settled, but you really need to think about finding a spiritual home for all of you." Dee Dee rambled as she was refilling his coffee cup and handing him another plate of bacon and eggs. "It's just not right that you all are out at all hours of the night protecting all of us town folk and you all not realize that there is someone out there protecting you." She finished, totally oblivious to the shock that appeared on John's face.

Clearing his throat and trying to compose what he wanted to ask, he was about to speak when she once again cut him off. "Oh now don't be modest, I know that you and your boys are the ones that have been chasing off those hoodlums that had been scaring this town. Don't you worry though; your secret is safe with me." She told him as she patted his hand and gave him a wink. Any response he was going to give was cut short when he spotted Sammy walk in the room.

"Hey Dee Dee, that plate for me?" he asked while taking the plate of eggs and pancakes that she held out to him. Sitting down at the table he looked up at his dad from under his longer than normal bangs. "Hey dad… find anything interesting?" he asked innocently knowing that they couldn't really talk freely in front of their landlady, but not wanting her to think that they were rude either.

John looked at his youngest and was shocked. He hadn't seen Sammy too much in the last week and half that they had been in town, and when he had seen his son one or the other was usually rushing in opposite directions. Now though, what he saw he wasn't sure what to make of. He had always made sure that the boys wore darker colors, mainly to camouflage any stains that may occur. Sammy had always made sure that he wore colors though, they might be dark, but they were hardly ever black. Now though, he looked his son over and realized that his little boy could blend into a variety of situations, and none of which he wanted to think about. The black jeans he understood, but he knew that Sammy liked to wear his tennis shoes whenever possible and to see him in his black boots that were mainly used for hunting or for cold weather was a little disconcerting, but what really had him stumped was the black full length coat covering a black tee shirt. Looking up into his son's face, or what he could see of it, he realized his boy had dark circles under his eyes, and that sent alarms going off in his head. "Sammy, is there anything wrong son?" he asked, hoping that if he showed that he was there, then maybe his boy would open up.

Pausing a moment in his chewing, Sam gave his dad a puzzled look, then shook his head while he continued to eat his breakfast. He couldn't understand why his dad was looking at him like that; after all he's the one who signed the permission slip. He knew that he looked awful, but he couldn't help it that Mr. Crain was needing him to go in late to work on inventory in one of the warehouses. Between working, staying late at school to talk with others in their little experiment group, and their normal nocturnal activities of looking for signs of the Satanists, he was getting barely four hours of sleep _total_ within a whole day, and that was if he was lucky. There had been a couple of nights that they hadn't gotten in until it was almost time to get up for school, and he had used that time to finish up his homework. Now he had to hurry because Mr. Crain had promised to meet him at the store's warehouse and allow him to pick out Dean's birthday present so it could be set aside and taken off the inventory list while he continued to pay it off with the hours he'd been working. He knew that the present was late, but he also knew that his brother would love what he was buying him.

John watched as his son got up and rinsed off his plate, then give Dee Dee a peck on the check before grabbing his bag and rushing out the door with a hasty 'bye dad' floating back to him. He really didn't know what was going on, he still acted like Sammy, but the person who was just sitting at the table with him looked almost like something from a B-list vampire movie than his son. He knew that the old woman in the room didn't think anything about it just by the way she continued to hum some out of tune 80's pop song, and continued to make breakfast. 'Maybe it's this town, a curse that switches people's personalities. Or maybe a spell of some kind that affects people in odd ways.' He thought to himself hoping that he was wrong, but also knowing that it was the only thing that made sense. If that was the case, then they needed to find it and destroy it before it took control of his youngest son.

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Dean knew that something was up with his little brother. First thing was: he was hardly at home. Mr. Homebody was now a social butterfly and he didn't know what to think about it. He wasn't surprised when a nerdy chick stopped by one afternoon to talk to Sammy, but then some big guy with a letterman jacket started asking for his brother and that rubbed Dean all sorts of wrong ways.

"_Hey, I was wondering if Sam Winchester lived here?" Bobby Taylor asked, trying to look around the guy standing in the doorway._

"_Who wants to know?" Dean asked, wary that any jock would just want to have a social chat with his geekboy brother._

"_My name's Bobby and I really need to talk to him… like, really. So, is he here?" Bobby asked trying to sound calm and failing miserably._

_Dean was just about to slam the door in "Bobby's" face when Sammy appeared behind him. "Hey Bobby, what's up?" Sammy, his Sammy had asked as if jocks didn't usually try to make his life a living hell._

"_Uh… I really need to talk to you… about…you know…"_

_Smiling slightly, Sam had glanced nervously over to his big brother before nodding. "Sure, I was heading over to Mr. Crain's store, how about we talk on the way?" he said as if there was nothing wrong "Hey Dean, I'll be back in a little while, let dad know ok?"_

Thinking back, Dean realized that was the first time he had noticed some very subtle changes in his little brother. Ok, to be honest, they were subtle at first; the black jeans, the people that just stop by to ask him something 'in private'. Now though, it was like looking at someone who was totally not Sammy. Everything his brother wore was now black, even if it had some sort of design on it; it didn't usually take away from the fact that his little brother had a new favorite color… and didn't mind showing it off. 'At least it's not pink.' He thought, trying hard to lighten his mood. He knew he should talk to his dad, but he also knew how it would play out; the oldest and youngest in the family in a shouting match. Sighing, he decided to see how it played out a little longer before he sounded the alarm.

Walking into the kitchen he saw his dad still working on his breakfast, his little brother already gone, and Dee Dee making a huge plate of eggs, bacon, sausage, and pancakes, with another plate of biscuits and gravy. 'Well, at least there's _some_ perks living in Weirdoville.' He thought as he started to devour his breakfast, but almost choked when his dad spoke up.

"Dean, we need to talk about you're brother."

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Dee Dee was heading home feeling lighter than she had in years. She had missed her boys so much after they had been killed in Vietnam, but now she had her new boys to take care of, and for that she was so very happy. She knew that all three of those boys were good men, and needed to be taken care of, that's why she helped out as much as possible. Fixing breakfast, washing dishes, cleaning the kitchen, keeping them company as they got ready for the day; watching as the youngest headed off for school before his father and brother headed off to work.

Oh that little Sammy was such a good boy. Always on the go, not getting into trouble like so many of other youngsters did in town. So when she had seen the permission slip that had fallen on the floor, she had no problem signing it and putting it on the table for the young man to find and take with him. Halting in the middle of the street, she thought a moment. 'Did I tell John about that project that Sammy's doing?' she thought to herself trying to think back to all the things that she had done a week ago. 'I'm sure I did, I'm not so looney that I would leave his father in the dark like that.'

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AN: Well, I hope you all are still enjoying the story... I'll probably update this one once or twice a week. Let me know what you think! 


	3. Chapter 3

It had been another two weeks since John and Dean had first talked about the change in Sammy. Two weeks of not getting answers, being busy trying to find any sign of the cult that kept terrorizing the town despite their best efforts. Two weeks of seeing the youngest member of their family become more distant, his sleep patterns becoming more sporadic, the friends stopping by who always wanted to speak 'in private'. That was bad enough but when Sammy had come home from one of his all day disappearing acts he had jet black hair and what looked suspiciously like a tattoo on his neck. Realizing that they hadn't seen him in anything other than that long overcoat in weeks, they couldn't tell when the tattoo had actually appeared, and that made both men extremely nervous; after all, if they didn't notice a tattoo, what else were they missing.

John escorted Dee Dee out the door and promised that he and the boys would see her that evening for a movie; _anything_ to get her out of the house so he could talk to Dean in peace. Watching the old woman walk down the sidewalk he let out a deep breath then turned to his eldest son. "What's going on with Sammy?" he asked, not wanting to waste anymore time in getting to the bottom of the situation.

Dean couldn't believe that they were having this conversation right now, he hadn't even had his first cup of coffee, and he's being grilled about his little brothers new dress sense. "Dad, I don't know. I barely see him, and when I do he looks like he's been put through the wringer." He didn't want to think about what could be going on, because there was just no way Sammy would be stupid enough to turn to drugs no matter how much he hated the move. Then again, he was pretty upset, and now he's not around. Not liking how it was starting to sound in his head, Dean put his plate in the sink suddenly losing his appetite. "Maybe we should talk to him, get him to tell us what's going on."

Looking at Dean he could tell that his oldest was just as confused. It wasn't that Sammy was being obnoxious, in fact when he was at home he still trained, went out with them to search for information, made sure that all his chores and homework was done, and even more puzzling was the fact that when he said he was at work… he was. That didn't alleviate the worry though, something was going on, and they knew they needed to get to the bottom of it. There was only one thing that they could think of though, and it wasn't going to be pretty.

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Principal Martin looked across his desk and looked at the teacher in front of him. "So, this experiment is working like you thought?" he asked while looking at the notes in front of him.

Paul Peterson smiled and nodded, "Oh yeah, the kids are telling me that even though they haven't really changed their behavior people have started treating them the way their dress portrays them."

"You mentioned that they 'haven't really changed their behavior', what do you mean?"

Leaning back in the chair he thought for the most glaring example. "Well, one of the kids had mentioned in his journal that it was getting harder to keep true to himself instead of conforming to the way others saw him. Another had mentioned in passing that it was taking a lot out of her, especially seeing how her family and friends were looking at her differently. I've only had one student tell me that it was working out about how he thought it would, and if the semester didn't end soon, he's probably be dead before the experiment ended." He chuckled thinking back to the conversation thinking that some kids have an overactive imagination.

Mr. Martin looked over the notes some more and smiled. "Well, the good news is, it looks like this will be a huge success in teaching tolerance, however, you would not believe how many calls I've had from other teachers and parents asking about drug tests and counciling for certain students. Curious that the list of students coinsides with your AP Biology class." He said as he got up and walked to the window. "Paul, I know that you wanted to go the whole way with this, but I'm starting to get concerned about the students. I've seen signs of depression, and I know that this isn't where you wanted to go with this." He held up his hand to cut the teacher off "I'm not suspending the experiment… yet. However, if it looks like it's becoming too much, then I will end this. We cannot have our students exposing themselves to harm, that counts for emotional distress as well."

Nodding, Paul looked at Mr. Martin and agreed wholeheartedly, he didn't want these children hurt either. He just wanted to get the point across that it's really NOT all in the suit that you wear. Walking into the hallway, he didn't notice the boy in front of him until he ran head on into him.

"Sam, how are you?" he asked, knowing that if looks were the tell, then the boy was going through hell. He had noticed that the shadows under the boy's eyes were so dark that they looked more like smudge pots than anything else. Either the boy wasn't getting any sleep, or he was taking this experiment _way_ too seriously.

Looking up at his Biology teacher, Sam smiled a moment before answering. "I'm fine Mr. Peterson, sorry I didn't see you. I was going over some notes for my History test in… two minutes. Thanks for asking. I'll see you in class."

Paul watched as Sam hurried down the hall with his overcoat billowing behind him and was amazed by the reaction of many of the students; they actually moved out of his way as if he would attack them. Shaking his head he thought to himself as he walked to his classroom 'What a shame, he's such a nice kid. Too bad none of the others want to see that.'

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Sitting on the couch, both John and Dean waited for Sammy to get home. They knew that school had let out, and that Sammy had the night off from work, so he should have been home by now. They needed to talk to him, and even made it clear that he couldn't go anywhere after school today that there was something important that needed to be done. Checking the clock again, Dean got up and started pacing the length of the living room. 'He should have been here fifteen minutes ago.' He thought as all the scenarios ran through his mind of what his little brother was up to.

Another fifteen minutes later had Sam with a small duffle in his hands, walking into the house and what he would later describe as his worst nightmare come to life. Both his father and his brother met him as he walked in and practically pounced on him, pushing him to the couch making him sit there. Confused, he waited until someone spoke up and when they did, he had no idea what to think.

"What the hell is going on with you Samuel?" John bellowed, knowing that if anyone was remotely close to the house could hear him, but didn't really care.

Looking back and forth between his dad and Dean he could only answer, "What do you mean?"

Dean was furious, that was his answer? He had to be kidding! "Look, we know something's going on with you. You don't sleep, you're out every night, we barely see you and when we do we don't like what we see."

"I've been busy with school and work. What did you expect?" Sam asked, clearly wondering why they were jumping on his case. "Look, I'm really tired, can we have this argument after I get up?"

That was definitely the wrong thing to ask because it seemed to give the other two Winchester's more fuel for the fire. "Why are so tired Sammy? I know that we've been out practically every night, but you should still have enough time to catch some sleep. You say that you're working, but we have to say that how you're spending you're money isn't helping with what we're thinking right now. Are you buying drugs with the rest of it? Is that why you're working so late all the time? Answer me Samuel!" John yelled, not wanting to give his son any time to work on an excuse, he wanted the truth.

"I can't believe that you're asking me that Dad. You know what I'm doing is important, if you didn't you shouldn't have agreed to it!" Sam yelled back, trying to figure out why his Dad was so upset all of a sudden, but his tired brain wasn't cutting him any slack.

Having enough of the argument, Dean grabbed Sam's duffle "Is this it? This your stash that you don't want us to know about?"

Sam jumped up and tried to take the bag back "Don't Dean, I'm not ready…"

John reached over and grabbed Sam from behind pinning his son against him. "Ready for what Sammy? Not ready to tell us what's really going on? We already get that. Open the bag Dean."

Seeing the devastated look on his little brother's face, Dean hesitated for only a moment. 'Sorry Sammy' he thought 'but we're doing this for you.' Holding the bag in one hand, he opened it with the other. Not wanting to see what was inside, but needing to see what had his brother so upset, he looked in and froze.

"What is it son? What's in the bag?" John asked, not sure that he wanted to know, especially when he felt Sammy sag against him in defeat.

Dean reached in and pulled out a brown leather jacket with a card tucked in one of the outer pockets. Taking a quick look at it, he looked to see if there was anything else in the bag. Looking between his brother and the jacket, he couldn't quite wrap his head around what he was seeing.

John looked at the shocked look on Dean's face, and then the jacket wondering what the hell was going on. One look at his youngest face though was enough to make him let go and back away. He had practically wrestled the kid for a jacket, a stupid jacket.

"I know it's late, but I wanted you to have it. That's why I've been working so much, to pay for it. Sorry it's not wrapped." Sam whispered before he turned around and walked out the door.

Both men stood there looking at each other in shock, neither able to get the look of betrayal that was on Sammy's face out of their head.

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AN: Well, what did you think? 


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Hey there... hope you enjoy, don't forget to let me know!

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Sam felt numb all over, he knew what happened, remembered his brother accusing him of drug usage, he could still feel his father's arms restraining him. 'Why?' he kept asking himself like some sort of chant that had gotten out of hand in his head. He didn't understand he had made sure to do everything he had been asked, even more to take care of the cost of the present for Dean and a few odds and ends around the house that they had needed, but hadn't gotten around to getting. Now he was walking through the neighborhood and really had no destination in mind. Dee Dee had mentioned this morning about a storm was brewing, but he couldn't feel the cold anymore, he truly felt numb.

"Sam!" he heard in front of him. Looking up he saw Peter, one of the other kids in the experiment, ironically he'd been the Goth student until he chose to be the 'conformist' of the group complete with button down shirts, khaki pants, and even a sweater for class. Yeah, the first day he wore it; his English teacher dropped her book and stared for a whole ten minutes before realizing it wasn't her blood pressure medicine playing tricks on her.

"Peter, hey." He said to the other boy but couldn't bring himself to say anymore.

"Hey man, you look like you lost your best friend, what happened?" Peter asked, really worried. He liked Sam from the first day in class; he was friendly to everyone and listened to opinions with an open mind not caring how off the wall they might seem. He was the one who suggested Sam take up the Goth role, after all, that would have be a true test of the experiment wouldn't it.

Sam stopped for a moment, before he looked at Peter and shook his head, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

It took a little more prompting, but as they walked toward the school, the story came out along with the tears that he'd been holding back. When he was finished explaining what happened; Peter was speechless, he couldn't believe anyone would think Sam did drugs, did they even _know_ him? Helping open the unlatched window, they both went into their Science room and turned on the light, it wouldn't take too long for word to get out and they'd have company. Until then, Peter was determined not to let Sam out of his sight.

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Sammy had just walked out and Dean could only stand there and stare at the jacket in his hand. John was able to pull himself out of his shocked state and reached out to grab the card that was poking out of the pocket. Looking at the envelope it was clearly addressed to Dean in his youngest son's distinct writing.

"Dean, this is yours too." He said, holding the card out to him.

He didn't know what to do; he had just betrayed his best friend. If he had actually taken a moment or two and found a way to see what Sammy had been up to, this whole fiasco could have been avoided. Looking at the card in his father's hand, he didn't want to open it. In fact, at the moment he wanted to hate it as much as he hated himself. Shaking his head, he looked at his dad, "I've got to find him, make this right."

John watched as Dean ran out the door to try and find Sammy. He tried to think of all the places that his son would go, who his friends were, if there were any other activities that he had joined. Finally, he thought he'd go to the one person who knew the most in this small town, and hopefully she could shed some light on what was going on. "Dean! Wait up!"

It didn't take long to get to Dee Dee's house and as soon as they knocked the door was opened as if she had been waiting. "Oh good, you're early!" she enthused, anxious to have company.

Confused, both Dean and John looked at each other. Finally the switch was flipped and they both understood why she was expecting them. "Uh Dee Dee, we really hate to cancel, but we've had an emergency and we're hoping you can help."

"Oh my! Please don't tell me that something has happened to Sammy! Oh that poor boy, I knew he was burning the candle at both ends, I told him that he either needed to cut back his hours with Mr. Crane, or back off his experiment, but he wouldn't hear of either one… something about a present…"

"EXPERIMENT?" they chimed in unison. _What experiment?_

"Oh my! I'm so sorry, of course, Dean doesn't know about it and we're not supposed to discuss it… please forgive me dear." She said patting John on the hand.

Looking at the woman as if she was as disturbed as she looked, John asked, "What experiment?"

Dee Dee thought that he was fooling her for a moment, then she saw that he really had no idea what she was talking about. "Oh my! The experiment for his science class. They were supposed to dress differently for several weeks and keep track of how the people around them treated them. Only one parent was to know about it, and it wasn't supposed to be discussed outside the classroom. John, I'm sure I discussed this with you. I know I did, I wouldn't have just…"

Dean could see the potential mental meltdown from where he was standing and knew they needed to get her back on track. "You wouldn't have what Dee Dee? What wouldn't you have done?"

"Not discuss it with your father dear. I saw the permission slip on the floor and saw that it was due that day. I just knew that your father had forgotten before he left, so I signed it. I couldn't let that sweet boy get a 'C' for his grade. He's so bright, you know."

John felt like he had been kicked in the gut. Things were starting to fall into place, and the conversations that he and Sammy had were now making sense; his son thought that he knew about his class project and just didn't care. "Do you have any idea where he might go?" he asked, hating to have to depend on someone else for that information, but he felt he didn't have any time to waste.

"Sure! When one of the kids are overwhelmed by what's going on, they head to their science class and turn on the light… pretty soon more show up." When she saw their shocked expressions she cackled. "Just because the parents aren't supposed to interfere with this, doesn't mean that they don't keep an eye out. Now you better hurry, I wasn't joking this morning, it looks like a winter storm could be brewing and you don't want to get caught out in it."

Not wasting any time, they both ran out of her house, forgetting how much they both wanted to wring her neck.

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Paul Peterson had to admit that he was having second thoughts about this experiment of his. Oh, it was going well, a little too well if he actually thought about it. Too many of his students were being pulled into too many different directions and he knew that he was close to calling the whole thing off, before one of them did something horrible. He had just received a phone call from Dee Dee saying that he was needed in his room right away and then hung up. At first he didn't think anything about it, but he figured he'd better check it out and see if the kids still had things under control. He had just arrived from his short walk down the block when he heard running behind him. Turning, he saw two men approaching at full speed.

"Can I help you?" he asked, sure that he should know who they were, but not placing names to the faces.

"Sammy, have you seen Sammy?" the older of the two asked. When he shook his head that he didn't know who they were asking about, the younger yelled.

"Sam Winchester! Have you seen him?"

"Uh, I was just about to check in the classroom, I was told there was a meeting going on tonight."

Stunned for a moment, Dean looked around him and wondered how much time they had wasted before they had found out what had happened. The sky was graying and the temperature was dropping.

"We're coming with you!" the older man said, leaving no room for argument.

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They could hear people talking even before they approached the door, and what they heard was surprising.

"I don't care Peter! We shouldn't have let him leave like that, he wouldn't have left us!"

"Leann, I know how you feel, but you saw him, he needed to walk it out. He's going straight home!"

"NO! We should have stopped him! They think he's on drugs… DRUGS!!! He wouldn't even take an aspirin for crying out loud, and we all know how bad his headaches are! What are they going to do when he goes home? What if they hurt him?"

Dean felt like he was listening to someone else's life, there was no way they were talking about them. How could he not have known that his little brother had been getting his headaches again? He knew how bad they could get, sometimes even knocking him to the floor if he got worked up enough. Listening to someone else describe what had happened made him feel sick to his stomach.

John knew he had screwed up, hell he had screwed up so bad he didn't know if he'd be able to fix it, but he had to try. Opening the door he stepped in and got to the point. "I need to find Sammy, how long has he been gone?" he asked hoping that someone would give him a straight answer. It took only a moment before the boy Peter answered.

"You just missed him; he went back out the window a couple of minutes before you came in. Are you the ones who have him so turned around he's thinking about leaving?"

"WHAT?!?" both Winchester's shouted. Looking at each other then back to Mr. Peterson, John said, "I didn't know about the project and we had our own intervention at the house today. Now I have to find my son, and if he's planning on leaving I'm going to need help in finding him."

Paul looked at the man in front of him before he looked at the kids in the classroom. "Get hold of everyone. Tell them what's going on and we need to find Sam before the storm hits."

John and Dean were already outside backtracking to the window to pick up Sammy's trail not wanting to take anything for granted. They had found his boot prints and managed to follow them to the middle of the Middle School play yard before they disappeared into nothing.

It took less than fifteen minutes for the town to be alerted that Sam Winchester was missing, but it took less time than that for the remaining Winchester's to know that they had found their next hunt.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Hey everyone... I hope you enjoy this update... let me know!

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Sam was waking up, or at least he thought he was. At the moment he wasn't sure what he was doing. He remembered having the worst day in his life and that included being used as a basketball by a poltergeist in Flagstaff last year, he even remember talking to his friends, but then it got fuzzy. As he continued to fight his way into consciousness, he realized why he couldn't figure out where he was; he felt like he was floating. 'Huh, not bad.' He thought hazily, still wondering if it was really a dream.

"Oh, it's not a dream Sammy honey, not even close."

He knew that voice, but it didn't make any sense. Why…?

The answer to his unfinished thought was spoken by the last person he would have suspected. Not believing what he was thinking, Sam forced his way back to full wakefulness and looked unbelievingly at the person in front of him, and was completely confused. He looked around and saw that he was indeed floating above the ground in a clearing with snow already falling down around them. Not sure what was going on, he tried to piece everything together; a string of supposed suicides, a suspected cult that no one could find, elusive suspects, and a town full of people who are determined to help people no matter what. It was as if they were determined to keep everyone happy, help people through their problems… their…ah, crap!

"Finally figured it out Sammy, I'm surprised that it took you so long. Then again, how many of my kind have you really dealt with?" it asked smugly, knowing that he was helpless to do anything.

The last coherent thought Sam had before he slipped into his own nightmare was, 'Damn, a Despair Demon.'

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John was looking over his notes about the occurrences in the area while Dean was trashing his little brother's room. It had quickly been obvious that Sammy didn't make it home, and now they were trying to find some clue as to what happened. Pulling out drawers, flipping mattresses, and tossing clothes from the closet onto the floor Dean was frantic. If his little brother was hiding anything, it wasn't in there.

Rushing into the living room he started on the couch, then the coffee table pointedly avoiding the jacket that had been dropped on the floor next to it. Looking around the room, his gaze fell on Sammy's backpack by the door. Thinking that it couldn't be that easy, Dean reached out and unzipped the main pocket emptying everything on the floor, then he opened the smaller outer pouch and found a small notebook with a pen attached. Not hesitating, he opened it and started reading, the cold feeling of dread building as he went over every page.

Seeing in black and white how much his little brother was feeling confused by his family's reaction to conversations and actions made Dean realize just how alone his little brother had been feeling. It didn't take long to see a pattern in the writing, where at first Sammy had been open with his feelings and thoughts about the town, school, work, friends, and the experiment, the further he went it seemed as if Sammy's mood had changed to a more guarded stance which covered more about the experiment and how it was affecting others as well and how he felt he had been letting his family down.

"Dad, you need to read this!" Dean said tossing his Dad the notebook.

John didn't hesitate; he read through it quickly, then again slower and started to pick up some inconsistencies that could easily be explained from fatigue. 'God knows he hasn't slept well since we got here.' John thought as he continued to piece some of the puzzle together. It didn't take long for him to come to a conclusion that he didn't like. "It's a Despair Demon, and it's set its sights on Sammy."

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Sam wasn't sure how much more he could take. Every horrible feeling that he had throughout his life had suddenly come into full focus and been multiplied making him feel hopeless and unworthy to carry on. Every job that they had failed to protect someone, was obviously his fault. Every time his brother or father had gotten hurt was because of him; either they were trying to protect him or were distracted by worrying about him. His mother dying was his fault, his dad's obsession and his brother's unorthodox childhood was his doing as well. He knew these things, but had no idea what he should do to make it right, he couldn't think beyond the feelings being pressed on him.

"Don't worry Sammy, it'll all be over soon." The voice said kindly, making him look up again. He knew this person, he just couldn't place where; why couldn't he think? She looked at him smiling gently, "Don't worry, you're doing fine, so many before you have given up so easily but you're strong. It will take longer, but so much more worth it – for _me_."

As he watched her, something tried to surface in his brain and he had to push himself to get past the oppressive feelings that were threatening to pull him under. He took in her appearance, her clothes, how she walked, and God how she talked. Finally, his brain kicked back in gear and he whispered before darkness consumed him, "Dee Dee?"

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Dean was fuming, he knew there was something hinky going on in this town, why hadn't he listened to his instincts? Thinking of all the places Sammy could be wasn't making him feel any better. All the other kids who had died had been found in different places, no real pattern to speak of; just a clearing in a wooded area, and wouldn't you know it there was _a lot_ of wooded areas.

John was more than a little upset. He had put his boy's a risk by walking into a situation totally blind. He had known something was off when they couldn't find traces of any cult activity, but knowing that the kids hadn't died willingly by their own hand. Thinking of his little boy out there facing a demon on his own sent chills running up and down his spine; especially knowing that it was a demon that feed off a person's despair and often would make that person relive their worst memories to get the maximum effect. Taking in account of what they did for a living and the guilt that Sammy seems to always harbor, John was not feeling very confident that they would find him in time; before the damage was done.

The snow was coming down faster, and the temperature continued to drop making the Winchester men more determined to find their youngest before the storm took hold fully. Having talked to Mr. Crane about possible clearings that hadn't been used in awhile, they found three that were strong possibilities and two more that would be out of pattern but still in the range of hopefuls. Quickly gathering their things, they made their way to the first one not far from where Sammy disappeared, hoping that maybe… just maybe they could get lucky.

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Sam woke to the feeling of something cold on his cheek. Taking a moment to get his bearings, memories started to filter in through the fog that was his brain. Groaning, he slowly opened his eyes and saw that he was now lying on the ground in only his jeans with snow starting to pile up around him. Trying to move, he found that he could barely budge, but he didn't see any restraints. Confused he looked around trying to figure out where he was. Nothing looked familiar; he couldn't seem to tell where he was at all.

"Don't worry Sammy; it won't be too long before this can all end. I must say though, you have fed me well today; better than those whimpering fools that came before you. However, all good things must come to an end as they say, and you are no exception. This will be your last few moments, so I'll indulge you with any last pleas or attempts to bargain." Dee Dee said while smiling down at him.

Looking up at Dee Dee, Sam had the feeling that he was on the outside of an inside joke, he just couldn't wrap his head around the current events and the only thing that came out of his mouth was, "Why?"

Laughing, the demon smiled. "Oh Sammy, you're funny too. I must say that's the best laugh I've had in quite awhile. Ooooh! Well, I guess I can indulge you for a moment. My grandfather helped found the town, back then all this was complete wilderness, but he and others were determined to make something from nothing. Everything was going well until a Cholera epidemic broke out. People were dying, and there wasn't anything anyone could do. My grandfather used to tell the story of a stranger who came to town and promised to take away the pain of losing their loved ones. Of course no one believed him, but then my grandmother, pregnant with my father, came down with the disease and so a deal was struck. The man was a demon, and he knew that if all the people were dead, there would be nothing left to feed off of, so he helped the townspeople in return my grandfather agreed to help him every so often. A fair trade if I say so myself. It wasn't until I had a family of my own that I truly appreciated what my father and his father did, so I took it a step further. I agreed to take the demons place here in this town; people were getting restless and wanting answers after so many years. He would save my boys, they had been born too earlier you know, and back then there was nothing to do, so I gave myself freely and never regretted it. Now though, I must feed in order to stay alive, and what better food than angsty teens who truly believe that no one understands."

Sam was struck dumb, he couldn't believe it. He saw it, he heard it, and he was sure that if he could reach then he could touch it, but he still couldn't believe that this old woman who had been so very good to his family was actually a demon; not just any demon, one that seemed determined to kill him.

"Sammy, I'm not going to kill you, what made you think that? No my dear… you are!"


	6. Chapter 6

AN: hey everyone... hope you like this one!

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Dean knew that time was running out, unfortunately there was nothing they could do to speed up the search except split up and his Dad refused to risk another son. Traipsing through another wooded area was making him more jumpy than usual, but then again, this was the four time they were doing this, since the previous three 'strong possibilities' were busts. Watching the snow continue to fall, Dean was trying to calculate how long his little brother had been missing, but quickly dismissed the thought, instead focusing on what he was going to do when he found the damn demon that dared to screw with his little brother.

John was in complete control, every movement calculated for the most efficient use, and it wasn't doing them a damn bit of good. Everytime they came upon a clearing, he felt his heart jump in the anticipation of seeing his youngest boy waiting for them as if he knew all along they were looking for him, but with each disappointment that little jump of his heart hurt a little more until he was starting to feel a vise squeeze his chest. He promised himself that as soon as they found Sammy, the town would be in their rearview mirror right after. He was amazed that other thoughts started to filter through, thoughts like 'did Sammy have a jacket on…how long has it been… will we get there in time?' Pushing those thoughts out, he focused on the ones he could use; how he was going to kill the demon.

They had just finished looking around the fourth clearing and knew they needed to hurry to the fifth, it was the last one on their list and they were running out of time; if they weren't too late as it was.

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Sam wanted it to stop; he didn't care how. It was so painfully obvious now how totally screwed up he was and how much better off everyone would be without him. He vaguely recalled someone being next to him, but he had no idea who it was or why they would even bother. He knew that his dad and brother would be better off, now he just needed to find the strength to do it himself. That's something his dad also taught him; if he was the cause, then he had to be the solution.

Looking up at the grey sky, he realized it wasn't snowing anymore, that thought actually would have made him sad on any other day, but he was content in knowing that maybe it would snow later, after he was gone; a nice tribute for someone who didn't matter anymore.

Sitting up, he looked around not knowing where he was and not really caring either, he knew he was in his jeans and had a faint thought that he should be cold, but nothing seems to break through the intense weight he felt; almost as if an invisible weight was pushing down on him reminding him that there was no hope and there was only one way to end the pain and agony. One way to be left in peace, but he still didn't know how. He knew he should have the answer, but it just wasn't coming to his sluggish mind. 'Huh' he thought 'another failure to add.'

It wasn't until he moved his leg slightly that he saw it, a large hunting knife. He knew that he should recognize it, since it did look familiar. He knew that it was sharp, and that it would fit his hand perfectly; if he could just wrap his hand around it, but his fingers were having problems obeying his brains commands. 'Why should they, it's not like my brain want to listen either.' He thought, as his vision swam a little. Sensing that he had to do this soon, that it would hurt more later, he continued to attempt to grasp the hilt of the knife until he finally saw his fingers curl around it.

Finally feeling that maybe something was going right, he now had to get the remaining energy to put everything right. It wouldn't take long if he did it right, but if he made a mistake…

Shaking his head, he tried to finish his thought, but it was gone, along with any energy he had before. Feeling himself lilt to the side, he managed to move his arm just enough so his downward motion would take care of everything. As his head hit the snow covered earth, he knew that he succeeded and allowed his eyes to slowly drift close.

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Dee Dee stayed close, feeling the helplessness of her young Sam helped to fuel her, and right now his was rife with it. Oh sure, she felt bad for him, well as much as she could feel anyway. He was such a good boy, always thinking about other people; everyone in town said so. Yes, he was new, but he had made a quick impression with those he interacted with, making him the best choice. If there was anything that she loved more than a pure soul to torment, well she couldn't think of what it might be.

Smiling, she watched his confusion, his inner turmoil, then finally his triumph at grasping the blade. It hadn't been easy considering the cold, but then again, the cold had helped her break him a little quicker, she had actually grown concerned that she wouldn't have succeeded before he was found; and that would have been a shame, all that work for nothing. Watching the young man fall on his knife had made her proud of him, like a soldier falling on his sword, he had chosen to dishonor his family no more. Well, that's what it would have been like if she hadn't helped him believe it.

Now her only decision was to wait until his family found him, or go and continue to play the concerned town elder until the news of her favorite neighbor's death will send her moving away from the awful memories. No one would blame her, they all would insist that she keep in touch, and then right after they received word of her demise; she would set up shop somewhere else. She was a demon after all, and could make herself as young as she was when the agreement had been struck, no one would suspect a thing.

Giving Sam one last look, she started her trek back to her house. She had a cake to bake after all.

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The sight that greeted them was one that was instantly burned in their memory. Their Sammy, the youngest one of them, was lying in a crumpled heap in the snow with a large red stain growing underneath him. Running towards him their only thought seemed to be shared between them. The words _NoNoNoNoNoNo _echoed in a mantra in their heads as they finally reached him and gently rolled him onto his back.

Sammy's skin was like ice, his lips a tinge of blue, and his body stiffer than either men could remember him ever being before. They saw his hunting knife buried deeply into his side and they knew that there was damage that they couldn't fix. Knowing that he was still alive, just by the blood that was still seeping out of him, they quickly got down to business and made a make shift pressure bandage to try and help the knife keep the bleeding to a minimal until they could get him to a hospital.

Between the two of them, John taking Sammy's shoulders and Dean taking the legs, they quickly made their way through the woods that would get them to help. Breaking through the tree line over half an hour later, they saw one of the search parties heading their way. Not wasting any time, an ambulance that had been called to stay on stand by until Sammy was found was brought over and the paramedics immediately started IV drips and taking vital signs, not wanting to treat the hypothermia that had set in since it was helping to slow the blood flow.

Following close, the Impala and the Ambulance reached the County Hospital and with their arrival a flurry of activity began. Neither of the elder Winchester's had gotten more than a glimpse of Sammy before the doors swung closed and they were blocked out of their Sammy's life, not knowing if he was still with them or if he was already gone but his body hadn't gotten the memo yet.

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Dr. Randall Cooper had been advised of the situation as soon as the boy had been reported missing, after everything that had been happening with the supposed suicides in Waterford, it had become necessary for an on call trauma team to be ready to go at a moments notice; just in case the next victim had a chance.

Now he was standing over a boy who had enough damage to his liver that he wasn't sure he was going to be able to repair it, and the damage from the hypothermia wouldn't be detectable until they actually brought his body temp back up. It was a risk, but it was either operate with the kid still half frozen and risk damage from the prolong exposure, or take a risk of him bleeding out before they could get him half sutured.

Knowing that there was a father and brother in the waiting room made him fight all the more, he had a daughter at home and he knew that if anything happened to her his life would instantly become meaningless. Looking at the anesthesiologist to get a vibe for what he was thinking, he suddenly understood; they were running out of time.

Having finished his last suture in the kid's liver, he ordered for the warming protocol to begin and a round of antibiotics to be administered ASAP. Knowing that there was no need to sew him up yet until they could see if there were any bleeds that he had missed, he quickly tossed his gloves in the trash and rushed to the waiting room, hoping that the family could hold on a little while longer for more news than what he was about to give them.

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Dean had stopped pacing and took to standing next to a window watching the snow that had started some time after they had reached the hospital. 'Sammy likes the snow, he'll be happy to see it when he wakes up.' He thought to himself, refusing to believe that his little brother had given up, not Sammy.

Sitting in a hard plastic chair was something that John felt that he should be used to by now, if it wasn't one of his boys then it was one of his friends getting hurt. Taking another sip of the sludge they called coffee, he tried to remember the last time that he had seen his little boy truly smile, the way he used to; with his whole body and soul. Feeling that whatever the answer was really meant it was too long, he couldn't help but feel the loss of it. He had always taken that smile for granted, Jim warned him of it; telling him that one of these days that smile would be gone forever, but he hadn't listened. Now he just wanted a chance to bring it back, just a change to tell his boy how sorry he was for not listening. If he had, he would have picked up on the fact that something was really going on with his son and not just some attitude that had become ever present the last couple of moves.

Both Winchester's were lost in their own thoughts, but still in tune to their surroundings to know when the sound of hurried steps were coming their way. Looking at each other, they quickly stood and faced a doctor who was still in surgical scrubs covered in their Sammy's blood.

"Mr. Winchester, I'm Dr. Cooper and I've been working on your son, I don't have a lot of time, but I knew you would want a report of his condition." He paused to make sure they were with him so far, he was always surprised how long it took some people to start to grasp even the simplest things in the middle of a crisis. "We used Sam's hypothermia to slow the bleeding while I repaired the liver, unfortunately at the moment, we're not sure if we succeeded in repairing all the damage. As his core temp rises, we'll be able to get a better look. The hypothermia comes with it's own risks as well, and we'll watch him closely. Right now, he's getting a transfusion with warmed blood, as well as warming blankets, and antibiotics administered into his IV. As soon as I can close him up, I'll let you know, and I'll arrange for you to see him in recovery; it's unorthodox, but I have a feeling that he's going to need you close by."

They looked at Dr. Cooper, nodded that they understood, and replied that they didn't have any questions, knowing that the doctor couldn't answer the one question that was flowing through their minds; was their Sammy going to make it?

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AN: Well, how'd you like it? Let me know! 


	7. Chapter 7

Dr. Cooper had just scrubbed back in when he heard the screeching of the heart monitors letting everyone know that they were losing the kid. Cursing long and loud he took another look at Sam's liver and saw that the damage was more extensive than what he initially thought; he wasn't clotting like he should. As the rest of the surgical team swarmed with activity to bring the kid back, following his orders to perfection, he was trying to determine the total amount of damage. Seeing what had to be done, he looked at the anesthesiologist and asked, "Once we bring him back, how much time do we have?"

The look the man gave him spoke volumes and Dr. Cooper knew that he had to hear it anyway. "Honestly Randall, the kid should be gone, how the hell he's still fighting, I don't know. Whatever you have planned, hurry!"

Looking at his team he ordered, "Bring him back, I need to work on this otherwise there's no point." Seeing the nods he tuned everything else out, twice having to lift his arms to clear position while they shocked his heart, and still he went back to remove the damaged portion giving orders to administer more clotting agent as he once again took care of the hidden bleeders he found in the less damaged of the halves.

Stabilizing the kid, and finally getting him closed up all the while his body was still slowly warming up seemed to be an intricate dance, but somehow they managed to pull it off and everyone was thankful to finally be able to wheel him into recovery. They had managed to help his body warm up to the mid nineties, and everyone had felt a sense of relief when not only was his temp almost normal, but his heart rate and blood pressure was also staying stable.

Getting cleaned up, Dr. Cooper went to the waiting room to inform Sam's family about his progress as well as keep his promise to escort them to Recovery. Finding the men in the same spot he had left them at before made him wonder if they had just happened to find their way back to those positions, or if they had never left to begin with.

"Mr. Winchester, we've stabilized Sam and he's in recovery now. We're still bringing his core temp up, and we came close to losing him, but at the moment I don't foresee any complications. I did however have to remove a portion of his liver and he is on a clotting agent at the moment to help the sutures do their job." He watched as both men seemed to inwardly collapse on themselves at the news.

Escorting both men to Recovery, he felt he needed to fill him in on his beliefs. "Mr. Winchester, I know that there's a lot of gossip going around about Waterford teens committing suicide, but I want to let you know that I don't believe this. Something has been going on in that town for awhile, and I wanted you to know that your son will need your love, understanding and support for what happened to him, but I do not believe he's a danger to himself." At their shocked looks he knew he sounded like a lunatic but he carried on. "Normally I wouldn't come to that conclusion without talking to the patient first, but under the circumstances, I'd feel confident to wager my license on it."

John had no idea what to say, it wasn't that he didn't believe the doctor; he did. It was the fact that they had let the damn thing go that had him bothered. They had no idea who it is, but that shouldn't have mattered. Now that they know that they were up against, they should have been all over the information. Now though, he couldn't give a flying flip about the damn thing except for the thought that if he ever found it, he'd find a way to make it pay. Right now however his main concern was for Sammy, and making sure he never felt unworthy to be a Winchester again.

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Dean watched as his little brother breathed. Most people wouldn't have thought anything miraculous about a breath, but then again most people don't see their loved ones going for the presumed impossible of bleeding out while at the same time succumbing to hypothermia; leave it to his Sammy to be an overachiever even when dying.

He couldn't help but think about the things he had read in his little brother's journal and he started to feel angry. Angry at himself for not seeing what was really going on, angry at their Dad for bringing them to this town without getting all the information first, angry with the town for having their suspicions but not looking into it themselves, and yes, even angry at Sam for allowing himself to get in this situation to begin with.

Now he had to sit there and watch the same little brother fight for his life, the same one who always thought the good guys wore white hats and always saved the day. The same one who no matter how much he saw still allowed himself to believe that there was something out there watching over them and making everything right. The same one who carried every failure in his heart and soul to the point that a demon could grab hold of him and twist him upside down and inside out without anyone realizing what was happening until it was too late to stop it.

Sitting there watching his brother breathe was the least that Dean could do after failing his brother so badly. After all, if he had just asked a few questions the right way he would have figured it out; he wasn't as stupid as some people liked to think, and puzzles were his specialty. Instead, he allowed himself to believe that it was Sammy just being a brat and trying to rebel against their dad for another impromptu move. Looking at Sammy's face, he wanted to be able to reach over and wake him like he does every morning and listen to his brother groan about five more minutes. Instead, he could only watch as the monitors told him if his brother was doing any better, or losing the fight.

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John knew that he should be out there looking for the damn demon that had latched onto his boy, but he couldn't bring himself to leave his boys alone. As he watched Dean, he know that his eldest son would be lost without Sammy, and if he admitted it, he would too. Sure he and his youngest had been having some doozies of arguments lately, but that didn't mean that he didn't love Sammy. In fact, in a twisted sort of way, he had to admire him. It wasn't everyone who could feel so passionately about something that they would go toe to toe against the very people that they used to look up to. Now though, Sammy had his own way of doing things, more thought out and precise; not the best way to go about things when you have a Wendigo or a Hell Hound on your ass, but still not bad when you're still trying to figure out what you're dealing with.

Sighing, he sat down on the other side and held Sam's hand, hoping that the contact would open those eyes and let them all know that there's nothing to worry about. When it didn't happen however, he held Sam's hand tighter as if to give his baby boy the strength to hold on. Although he wasn't known to be a praying man, he was very close that moment to giving it a shot when a voice behind him broke through his thoughts.

"Oh my… Sammy my boy, whatever did you do to yourself?"

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AN: Hope you liked the chapter... let me know! 


	8. Chapter 8

AN: I hope you all like this chapter, let me know!

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Both John and Dean were startled by the new presence in the room and it took them both a moment to come back to there senses. They both watched as Dee Dee walked into the room and went straight up to Sammy as if she was scared he would break. Dean wondered how the old woman had got there, but quickly pushed his curiosity off to the side even though he was still a little upset with her; after all, if she had spoke up, they would have known what was going on with his little brother.

John looked at Dee Dee and couldn't help but feel the resentment burning in him. She had taken it upon herself to stay informed in his son's life without any regard to him, the more he thought about it, the madder he got. Unfortunately, he wasn't known for terrorizing old women and decided to let it go. 'Don't think Sammy would like to wake up and find out they'd murdered the old biddy in her sleep.' He thought to himself, smiling slightly at the thought of… nope, can't do it…

Sam's vitals had finally stabilized and his family was starting to feel relaxed about his chances when everything went haywire – again. Dee Dee had placed her hand on Sam's chest and started talking to him in hushed tones trying to comfort the young man when his heart rate suddenly surged causing the machines around him to screech out their warning and in response send a team of doctors and nurses in to assess the situation.

Shocked, the Winchester's along with Dee Dee were forced out the door and made to wait until the team could get Sam's vitals stable again. Dean was pacing in the hallway completely confused about what happened, and he didn't have a problem expressing his disbelief. "What the hell Dad? He as stable as he could be under the circumstances, and now it sounds like a banshee was let loose in his room." Dean growled wanting answers, but knowing that until the doctor came out, they probably wouldn't get them.

Watching his eldest son, John knew what he meant; it didn't make sense, usually there's an interruption of sorts in heart rhythm, but not this time, it went from calm and steady to fast and erratic without a pause in between. In fact it was almost as if it was a reaction to something, but he couldn't think of what it could be that would cause that sort of result.

It was almost a half hour later before Dr. Cooper came out of Sammy's room and looked gravely at the father of the boy he had just barely brought back. "Mr. Winchester, I won't lie to you, it was close. In fact I'm more worried now than when he was bleeding out in surgery." At their shocked expressions, he could only shake his head. "His vital signs are weaker, he's not responding to stimuli at all, and I have no idea why. I'm sorry Mr. Winchester, but it's as if Sam's giving up."

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Dee Dee knew that she was going to be cutting it close if she wanted to be far away when John Winchester figured it out, and she had no doubt that he would. However the pull to little Sammy was just too much to ignore, as well as the utter guilt and despair that the other two Winchester's were feeling at the moment was just too much to ignore.

Walking into the hospital was so easy, as well as getting access to Sam's room; who thinks about an old woman visiting someone in a hospital. The scene she walked in on was priceless as both older males were trying to keep vigil on the youngest, willing him to be alright, praying for him to wake. She knew what would happen when she got there, and delighted in the fact that Sam might have gotten away from her once, but he wouldn't again. Trying to keep up appearances, she let her maternal persona through, "Oh my… Sammy my boy, whatever did you do to yourself?"

She felt both John and Dean's feelings about her being there, but it just fueled her and allowed her to move in for the kill. Reaching over she touched Sammy's chest and muttered words close to his ear as if she was trying to bring him comfort.

"It's ok Sammy, nothing last forever, even pain; it'll all be over soon."

Then she stood back and watched the show. The panic she felt from the other hunters made her heart sing, and she knew that once little Sammy succumbed to his weakness, that his family would be throwing heartbreaking vibes everywhere, feeding her even more; then she could leave as she planned, no one would suspect a thing.

Out in the hallway, she watched Dean pace and John watch Dean and she couldn't help wonder how these two ever survived being hunters. She had been in their home how many times, stood next to each of them for how long, and they had no idea who she was. She truly wanted to laugh at that thought, realizing that was what she was about to do, she hastily left; Sammy's death was all but guaranteed.

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John stood there and looked at the doctor unbelieving; he couldn't understand what he was hearing. Sammy didn't give up – ever! He'd been in more arguments with his youngest son to know that when it looked as if you'd won, more than likely you've actually lost, you just hadn't figured it out yet. "No, you're wrong." He said firmly, not wanting any miscommunication. "Sammy's going to be fine."

Dr. Cooper didn't know what to say, either this man was that confident in his son or was in total denial. He may not have lied to the Winchester's, but he hadn't been totally forthcoming in his information. Sam's blood counts seemed to have dropped dramatically, almost as if the very life of him was being sucked out of him. Of course he couldn't say that to the family, he'd have his license revoked and put in a psych ward faster than he could say 'Boo!' Watching the brother though, he couldn't help but wonder if he knew something. He was about to ask when the young man blurted out something that didn't make sense to him, but seemed to change everything.

"Oh my God! Dee Dee!" Dean exclaimed looking at his dad with wide eyes waiting for the light bulb to go on.

"Damn it!" John swore seeing how the pieces fit and how badly he actually screwed up. Looking at the doctor he abruptly told the man, "Keep my son alive, I don't care how you do it, but damn it, he better still be hanging on when I get back." Looking at Dean he was about to tell his son what he wanted when his eldest held up his hand.

Dean knew what his dad was going to say, and he actually felt a little insulted, "Dad, go! I've got Sammy; just send the bitch back to hell."

Not even looking in Sammy's room, John took off running down the hospital corridor knowing now what he had to do, and all those things he didn't allow himself to think about while he thought Dee Dee was just an eccentric old woman came back to him in full force and for the first time since they came to the god forsaken town he felt like the hunter he was; and it felt good.

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Dean sat there holding on to his little brother's hand as if he'd disappear without notice, ignoring everything and everyone else around him. He knew that he and their dad had been totally focused on the hunt and in effect ignored Sammy; he couldn't stop thinking about it. What was worse though was that Sammy had fallen deeper and deeper into a depressed state of mind and no one had noticed, just thought it was part of his persona that they now knew he was portraying for a stupid school project. His brother could have died for a damn _grade_!

Talking to Sammy had been something that he was always capable of, even when he couldn't talk to anyone else; he could talk to his baby brother. Now though, it looked like Sammy felt he couldn't talk to him, what would be the point when no one seemed to be listening. Their dad didn't trust his opinion about hunts, and Dean had started to follow in dad's footsteps, wanting to learn as much as he could. Now though, he had to wonder what he was thinking. One day dad would be gone and then what would they have; only each other. If Sammy didn't feel like he could trust Dean now, what would happen later when they only had themselves to fall back on?

"Sammy, I swear to you, you pull through and I'll listen to every one of your geeky ideas and pitch them to Dad myself. You hear me? I know that it hurts; I know that you think that there isn't anything left, but dude… you are so wrong. Dad and I love you and you're what keeps reminding us what we're risking everything for. You just hang in there and Dad will take care of the demon bitch, then we can get everything straightened out. Just… hang in there bro, we can't do this without you."

Unbeknownst to Dean, Dr. Cooper was at the door listening, hoping that Dean could get through to Sam; there had been too many deaths lately as it was, and adding this young man to list just seemed so wrong.

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John had made it to the old woman's house and he wanted nothing more than to kick in the door and set the demon scum who dared to hurt his baby boy on fire and send it to Hell. However, he was having a bit of a problem deciding on which of his toys to take with him, after all, she tortured his son and payback's a bitch. Deciding that there wasn't time for self indulgence, he grabbed the straightforward supplies and did what first came to him – he kicked in the door and shot the first thing that moved.

Startled, Dee Dee could only stand in the middle of her living room when the door came crashing in, but that lasted only a few moments as she realized that John Winchester had just blown her beloved parakeet into dust! "What, no polite knocking this time John? I'm disappointed. How's little Sammy by the way? I must say that it's been so much fun…"

John unloaded his second shotgun round into her chest, not caring if anyone heard the noise; he had a job to do and he was going to do it. Smiling he tossed the holy water on her and started the exorcism that he had gotten from Jim with the express warning that it was too strong to be used on the possessed, it would kill them without prejudice. That was just what John wanted, this demon had chosen to become what she was, and then continued to prey on those who were trusting and good hearted. There was no way he was going to allow this thing to get off easily. As the words slipped effortlessly from his mouth, he watched as the human form in front of him writhe in pain and transform to the point that the contract was made, an obviously painful process, then continued to watch as she started to bleed through her pours and orifices before she ended her existence with a piercing scream that made John's blood run cold before she exploded leaving nothing but ashes on the floor and blood on the walls.

Looking around the room John wasn't sure what to think, but he was more than happy that he had finally ridded the town of the evil that had lived as one of them for so long; maybe another family wouldn't suffer like his boy had. Making his way back to the car, he knew that he was going to have to get everything from the house and get his boys out of town as quickly as possible. His only hope was that Sammy was awake by the time he got back.


	9. Chapter 9

AN: I hope everyone will have a safe and wonderful day! Happy Holidays!!!

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Dean had no idea what to do. His brother had gone from unconscious to sitting straight up screaming as if the hounds of hell were tearing into him, and now… nothing. Dr. Cooper had come rushing in with his entourage to look Sammy over, but was just as puzzled as Dean. Now he had to wait for their dad and see if maybe the solution was a little more… _unconventional_. As he sat next to his brother, he wished that the eyes that were staring into nothing would shift just enough to show some sort of recognition, anything to show that his geeky brother was still in there. What was the point of getting rid of the damn demon if they only had a shell of his brother left? Shaking that thought out of his head, he felt guilty for even entertaining it for a moment. No matter what, he would take care of his brother; even if his brother wasn't aware he even existed.

So lost in his thoughts, he wasn't aware of his dad's arrival until he heard a choked sound behind him. "Sammy…" John whispered, not fully able to get his son's name out. He was sure that with Dee Dee gone, that whatever hold she had on Sammy would have been broken. Now though, he couldn't help but see how wrong he was. He continued to stand there in shocked horror as the implications of what he was seeing continued to filter through his numbed brain. His normally overactive son was staring into nothing and not moving at all. He couldn't seem to comprehend it, and even looked towards Dean for an explanation, or at least some sort of idea. When he got a blank stare instead, he walked across the room and took his youngest son's hand and let the tears fall.

Dr. Cooper had been called in by Dean as soon as Sam's eyes opened, unfortunately they still couldn't get the boy to respond. He had put a STAT order on the latest blood work, and was pleased to see the results. Whatever had been pulling the young man into a downward spiral seemed to have lost its hold of his body, now they just needed to bring the rest of him back; quickly. Stepping into the room, he relayed the information to the other Winchester's and was about to fill them in on the downside when they were interrupted by someone walking into the room.

"Ah, Dr. Cooper, I assume that you have informed the family." The newcomer said only barely taking in the presence of John and Dean before he walked over and started a cursory examination of Sam.

"Actually, Dr. Evans, I was just getting to that, if you'd like to…"

Dr. Evans looked at the other doctor with distain before he turned to the others in the room. "I'm sure this could have been avoided if things had been done in the proper time. As it is, I am sure this is going to come as a shock, and that cannot be helped. With any suicide attempt there is a mandatory evaluation period, and seeing as how Samuel has made the effort to wake, then we can get started in helping him."

John was more that a little confused, he had no idea who this person was, but it sounded as if he wanted to commit his son. Looking over at Dr. Cooper he could see the truth in the man's eyes, and it didn't make him happy. "Now wait a minute. You can't just walk in here and demand to throw my son in a padded room…"

"I assure you Mr. Winchester, under the current state of things; there will be no need for a 'padded room'. Samuel is in an obvious catatonic state which will not get any better without the right form of therapy. Now if you will excuse me, I have some arrangements to make." Dr. Evans said casually before he walked out of the room.

Dean stood there, trying to get his brain to kick into gear, but knew that either he was caught in his own form of hell, or some idiot was trying to take his brother away. "Like Hell!" Dean growled, as he undid Sammy's IV and wrapped his brother in the blankets before hoisting him in his arms; shocked by how light his brother seemed to be. Expecting resistance, he was surprised when he turned around and saw that his dad had all of Sammy's things already gathered, and Dr. Cooper was acting as look out.

"Ok, all's clear. Go across the hall and take the stairs, I'll meet you downstairs and help sneak you through the back."

Knowing there wasn't time to exchange pleasantries; John just nodded then led the way to the stairs, hoping that he wasn't going to have to break someone's neck in order to get his boys out of there. Taking the stairs a landing at a time, he made sure that the coast was clear before motioning Dean onward. They had only a couple of tense moments when an orderly had started to take a smoke break in the stairwell but was caught and immediately sent back to work, the other time was a couple of interns who thought they were alone and had just started to get to know each other a little better when one of their pagers went off sending them both rushing back through the door. Finally making it to the ground floor, they waited in silence for Dr. Cooper.

Ten minutes of waiting was more than enough and Dean was just about to say something when they heard a slight knock before the door opened and a bag was thrust into John's hand. "I have no idea how I know this, but I have a feeling that you two will be able to take better care of my patient than I can. I've sent security to the other side of the hospital, so the way should be empty of obstacles. Call me if you have any concerns." Dr. Cooper smiled and held the door open for them as they rushed out of the hospital and towards their waiting car.

It wasn't until they were out of town, going in the opposite direction of Waterford that John looked at Dean in the rearview mirror. Dean knew what his dad was asking and silently shook his head before he looked back down to his little brother's face and watched as Sammy's eyes stayed open and unfocused.

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Jim Murphy had already set up the bedrooms and had the coffee on the stove when the very familiar classic Impala pulled into the driveway. He still wasn't sure what had happened, just that the youngest boy had gotten himself into a mess and they all needed a chance to recover. Thinking about Samuel made Jim smile. He couldn't help but remember the energetic ball of energy with a thousand questions, and the eyes that told so much with just a glance. He had to admit, that Samuel had caught his heart as a baby and hadn't given it back since. So for them to be coming to his home to recoup, made him wonder what had really happened, because for all of the boy's curiosity about life, he wasn't normally reckless. Opening the door however, he was totally unprepared for what he saw.

John felt like he hadn't slept in weeks, and felt as if he was carrying concrete blocks on every limb. He had only stopped for gas and to check on Sammy, making sure that the incisions hadn't been pulled too much. When he called Jim he had left out what happened, but now in hindsight he realized that he made it sound as if Sammy was the one who had made a mistake. Not one to readily admit his own failures, he wasn't sure how he was going to explain what happened, but then again not really caring either. Finally pulling into the driveway had felt like a major accomplishment, helping Dean pull Sammy out of the backseat had seemed like a triumph, but it wasn't until he saw his friend in the doorway when it hit him; this wasn't his battle to win, it was going to take all of them to bring his boy back.

Watching Sammy stare continuously was more than a little disturbing, but it was the quiet that was killing him. His brother was always doing something, moving in some way to the point that even when he was reading you knew to give him a little bit of room, because one minute he might be still, but the next those legs would cross or his arms would move around. This was just unnatural, and it was starting to piss him off. He knew his dad had gotten rid of the demon, but seeing how bad off his brother still was, he wanted to resurrect it and make it suffer. Carrying his brother towards Jim's place had made their whole situation hit home; his brother was damaged in a way that he wasn't sure he would be able to fix.

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Bobby, Caleb, and Joshua had converged on the rectory as soon as they found out about the youngest Winchester. After being filled in on all the gruesome details, it didn't take long for the hunters to start calling contacts, and researching ancient tomes trying to find out a way to bring the young man out of whatever trap the demon had tossed him in. It had been two days and not even a twitch, which made them all worry that the longer he didn't respond the less likely he'd come out of it.

Jim had to resort to subtly threatening both John and Dean in order for either of them to lay down for awhile. He took his turn at watching Samuel while the others ate, researched, or even cleaned up, and each time he prayed that there would be some sign of the boy's awareness was increasing, but each time he was disappointed. Samuel continued to stare as if nothing could penetrate his consciousness, and it was a heartbreaking sight.

Bobby hated seeing the boy the way he was, it was enough to make his hardened heart turn to mush. Now though he could only hope that they found something soon, because as it stood, the kid wouldn't be able to take much more; he'd lost too much weight as it was, and they even had trouble getting liquids down his throat without Sam choking. Running his hand over his face he had to wonder what had really happened during the hunt to have a backlash like this; then again, maybe he didn't _want_ to know, it would probably piss him off at John even more. Who ran off and started a hunt without knowing what you were up against anyway?

Caleb sat next to Dean and helped feed another spoonful of a breakfast shake to Sammy. Not fully understanding how this could happen, he was still in shock at seeing the little squirt so still as if the kid couldn't be bothered with the real world anymore. He was used to seeing him being a part of the world, not an accessory to it, and it didn't set well with him. Seeing that they were done, Caleb lowered Sammy gently down to the pillows and turned to Dean, seeing the tears form in the other mans eyes. "Hey, we'll figure it out dude, don't worry about it."

"Look at him Caleb! He's been like that for two damn days; don't tell me not to worry!" Dean yelled, not caring if he disturbed the whole house; secretly hoping to get a reaction from his brother. He didn't know how much more he could take of watching Sammy waste away. He remembered his dad's reaction when they changed him out of the hospital gown and into a light shirt and pair of sweat pants. His brother had lost weight, enough to not only be noticeable, but possibly dangerous; and again neither man had noticed.

Joshua had been following a lead, and he couldn't wait to get back to the rectory; it might be a long shot, but it could very well work. Now all he had to do was convince everyone else that he hadn't totally lost his mind.

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AN: Hope you all enjoyed it, let me know! 


	10. Chapter 10

AN: Ok... this is the last chapter, so I made it really long... I hope none of you are disappointed in it. Thanks for all of your support, it's really meant alot! Enjoy!

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"You want to do what?" John asked with deadly calm, making the others in the kitchen cringe at what that really meant; he was beyond pissed, he was dangerous.

Joshua sighed, "I know it's a risk, but damn it John it's the only thing that we've found. I'm not saying it'll be easy, and I sure as hell am not saying it's a good idea, but what other choice do we have?" He had known what the reaction was going to be before he had even pitched the idea, but after seeing Sam right after he got back, he knew that they had to do something or risk losing the kid forever.

It took a moment of standing there in complete shock before Dean asked incredulously, "You want to summon a reaper to get Sam's soul back? How do we even know…"

"Look Dean, I know it's a long shot. The demon I saw explained it as if that Dee Dee whatever had made sure that in the final stages of her feeding, the path back was severed. Sam's stuck, not here because she pulled him out, but not there because it's not his time. If we don't hurry, his body will completely shut down, and there will be no chance of bringing him back." Joshua wasn't happy about it either, but what was he supposed to do, feed them some sort of sugar coated crap? He didn't work that way, and wouldn't do it to his friends anyway. Looking over at the other hunters he could tell that this was a hard sell, but he could only hope that someone either found a better alternative, or started agreeing with him soon; Sam didn't have too much time left, the kids veins were already starting to collapse making IV's a bitch to put in and precarious to work.

"You can't do it here." Jim said firmly, bringing everyone's attention to him. He saw several shocked reactions but he held up his hand, "There's the small clearing in the woods, it's not holy ground and we can put up the black altar there." He didn't want to entertain the idea of having to resort to dark magic, but no other solution was forthcoming. As he walking into the room that he kept locked, securing many different weapons as well as information of the lost arts, he sent up another prayer that young Samuel wasn't suffering.

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Sam was somewhere; he thought he was anyway. It was kind of hard to tell since he wasn't sure if he felt anything, or really saw anything; he just seemed to be drifting in nothing. He'd been unconscious enough to know what that felt like, but this felt almost permanent, sort of. He would have been confused if he really cared what had happened and what was going on. Since he didn't, then it was easy to allow the nothingness to fill him until even the stray thought that started to form was quickly pulled away before he could grasp its meaning.

Not knowing how long he was there or much longer he would be, he was surprised when he heard, or would it be felt, a voice behind him. Suddenly his perception was back and it wasn't pleasant, he was actually wishing for the nothingness to come back; at least then he wouldn't feel such hopelessness. As if his eyes had been opened he was shocked at who he saw, and couldn't grasp the meaning of it. "Mom?"

Mary Winchester smiled at her youngest son. She had been sent to him until the loophole that had been created with Dee Dee's demise was closed. Although very happy to see how much he had grown, it saddened her to know the anguish he was experiencing even now. To keep him from letting go, she had to help anchor him to where he truly belonged; but that included the pain that he had felt before as well as the pain his body was feeling now. She could only pray that John and Dean hurried, because no matter how stubborn Sam was, every person had their limits; her son was almost to his.

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Originally the plan had been for Jim to stay behind with Sammy to make sure he was taken care of, but the more the plan formed, everyone quickly realized the Pastor's expertise could be needed. Caleb had volunteered since everyone knew that if it had to do with Sammy, Dean would need to be in the middle of it, unfortunately, it became painfully obvious that until they really knew what was going to happen they needed everyone they could get.

Thinking back on the situation, they each couldn't help but wonder what had possessed them to bundle Sammy in blankets and take him with them. If anything went wrong they were even further from help, and if everything went right being out in the cold, wet weather wasn't the best thing for him to start his recovery. Knowing it was too late now, they all vowed to hurry through the ritual and get to the bottom of this insanity before the youngest member of their group slipped away from either natural or other type of causes.

The altar had been laid out, the ritual had been performed, the spell had been spoken but nothing happened. Jim was going to suggest repeating it in case they got in to big of a hurry when a movement in the woods had the hunter's on full alert. John and Dean both had trouble staying upright when they saw who it was, and then John went from shocked to thoroughly pissed off.

"What the hell do you think you're doing using her to show yourself?" he bellowed, his voice echoing through the trees sending animals scurrying away in fright.

"_I come in the form that brings the most comfort John Winchester, if you would like I can leave."_ The form of Mary said, turning back the way it came.

"Wait!" Dean yelled, effectively stopping the reaper in its steps. "We need you to help my brother. You see…"

"_I know about your brother, Dean. He is with her as we speak, and until the decision is made, that is where he will stay."_ It said softly, watching as the hunters handled their weapons as if getting ready for a battle. _"I only come for those whose time has passed here on this plane. His has not been decided."_

Jim had known that this wouldn't be easy, but even he was having trouble following what the reaper was talking about. "What do you mean it's not been decided? The demon pulled him out of his body and…"

This was the only part of her job that she did not like. Humans always saw things in the finite, never looking around to bigger scheme. _"The natural order has been disturbed, by all laws of nature; Sam's soul is ready to move on. However since his circumstances are caused by the unnatural, there is a great argument about what to do with him."_ The reaper volunteered, wanting to enlighten those standing before her.

"So, he's what… in limbo?" Dean asked, not exactly sure what that entailed, but he had a feeling that he wouldn't like it.

"_In a sense, yes. He is unable to move forward, and prevented to cross back."_

John stood there watching the creature pretend to be his Mary and it took everything in him not to find a way to toast the entity for its blasphemy. However, he subdued his impulses and listened. Finally, he couldn't wait, "You said that Sam is with Mary, does that mean that she hasn't moved on either?"

"_No, she is there to keep him from falling deeper into the abyss. A solution must be found before his body is not longer salvageable, until then your Mary is keeping him aware and closer to this plane of existence."_

Joshua groaned, he didn't like the sound of that. If he was right that meant that any pain that Sam would be feeling right now, is exactly what he is feeling while with Mary. Some days he really didn't like being knowledgeable in the otherworld fine print. Looking between Jim and Bobby he could tell that they had figured it out too. Looking at the woman in front of him he asked, "What can we do to bring him back to us where he belongs?"

Smiling sadly, the reaper only shook her head and walked over the bundled form lying on the ground under a tree for protection from the wind. They had all continued to silently watch her, and wondered what she was thinking, or if reapers really thought at all. Suddenly she asked quietly, _"How was he able to feed her so well?"_

Swallowing down the tears, Dean could only respond with "His heart's too big", making the other hunters nod in agreement. They had always known that having such a tender heart would make a hunter's life more difficult; painful. Now the evidence of that belief was quite literally staring at them, making them feel unworthy to carry on without him to remind them of why they fight the darkness everyday.

Nodding, she smiled, then placed her hand upon his head and spoke gently. _"I release you."_

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Mary had known the exact moment the decision was made, and she wished now that she had had more time with her Sammy. Knowing the things she knew, she had wanted to bring him comfort about the days ahead, but instead only brought him more confusion and questions. She had allowed herself the indulgence of holding her son and kissing his cheek like she had when he was a baby, and then he was gone, giving her a sense of emptiness. "Take care of my boys John" she whispered, before she too blended into the ether.

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The reaper had disappeared as softly as she had appeared, leaving the hunters wondering what to expect. However as soon as they finished their musings, a loud piercing scream broke the silence sending them over to a now awake Sammy who was obviously feeling everything that his body had been experiencing.

Dean could have kicked himself as the sudden realization of his brother's pain hit him full force. Having no reactions to his environment and showing no signs of pain earlier, it had been easy to forget that Sammy had been through the ringer and had surgery less than a week ago, not to mention the trauma his body had gone through while slowly shutting down. 'When was the last time he had any pain meds?' he berated himself, knowing that whatever the answer, it was too long.

Scooping his son into his arms, John held him close disturbed not by the screams, but how light and frail Sammy was in his arms. Even in the short time they had been at Jim's, his boy had faded fast, and now he was back and the shock could very well do him in. 'Wonder if the damn reaper knew about this.' John growled to himself, now wishing that he had sent the damn thing screaming back to where it came from.

"John! We need to get him back to the house." Joshua yelled at John, hoping that they could still keep Sam from succumbing to shock, while at the same time kicking himself for not thinking about this possibility.

Although it didn't take long to get back, they all were terrified by the time they had got there when Sam's screams had turned into hoarse moans with every move and breath he took. Finally getting him back into the room, they were grateful to see that he had finally succumbed to unconsciousness if for no other reason, so that Sam wouldn't feel everything so intensely.

Finally getting everything in place after taking several tries and attempting a couple of locations for an IV, they could only pray that they weren't too late in getting him the help he needed. John sat on one side of his baby boy's bed and took his hand, "Sammy, we're here and we're not going anywhere, so don't you dare give up. You hear me son? Don't give up."

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Jim had been researching the ritual they had used four days ago to release Samuel from the imposed limbo he had been in, but as with every other time he looked, he could not find anything that would account for any type of backlash that would account for the young man's unconscious state. He hadn't been kidding himself, he knew that the events that Samuel had gone through had worn him out, but as with the others, Jim felt that he should have woke by now.

Putting the books away he went back upstairs to sit with the young man in question, and pray for some sort of divine intervention; although he had the feeling that they had already been granted that with Samuel still being among the living at all. Reaching the room, he saw Dean reading to his little brother and Bobby checking Sam's vitals again.

"Jim, could you come hear a second?" Bobby asked looking as if he was contemplating a great puzzle.

Dean looked up to watch both men as they retook Sammy's blood pressure. Not wanting to hope too much, he watched closely as a small smile formed on Jim's face, and he was racing out of the room as soon as Jim asked him to get his dad.

It took only a few moments before the sounds of pounding feet were heard racing up the stairs and down the hallway. John was the first one in followed by Dean, Joshua and Caleb. At their worried glances, Bobby smiled, "Looks like he still has some fight in him. His BP's up, his pulse is slowing down, and if I'm not mistaken, that's his little finger moving right over there."

Dean pushed past his father and slid to the floor by his brother's side. "Hey, it's time to get up sleepy head. We've got places to go and people to see and we're just waiting on you Sammy." He said, hoping that Sammy didn't hear the tears that were building, he didn't want his little brother to get the wrong idea.

Sitting on the other side, John stroked his son's hair and watched as Sammy's left hand seemed to twitch in his brother's grasp, making him feel confident that his baby boy was truly waking up. "Come on Sammy, you need to wake up now. Everyone's been worried about you, keep showing them how stubborn you really are." He said, knowing that with every word, his throat was tightening even more. Something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye, and when he looked, he saw a pair of beautiful eyes taking in the room around them. Sammy! Oh God son, you have no idea how worried we've been." John exclaimed, not caring how sappy he sounds, he just wanted to make sure his boy knew how much he meant to them.

Sam looked around tiredly, not knowing where he was at first or how he got there, but felt his dad and brother next to him. He tried to smile, but felt too tired, and the decision to stay awake or figure things out was made for him.

Dean sat there and watched his brother look around without any real recognition and felt a stab of fear. 'What if he's truly damaged in some way?' He thought, hoping that he was wrong, but fearing that he wasn't. Shaking the doubt away, he knew that it didn't matter, his brother was alive, and he was going to do whatever it took to make sure he stayed that way. Looking at his dad he boldly stated, "We have to talk."

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It had been almost five months since Sam woke to feeling his family around him, and three months since they had moved out of the rectory into a small house close by. _Dean had told John that until Sammy was a hundred percent better, there was no way they were going traipsing across country and back, and if he didn't like the idea he knew where the door was. Needless to say John had stood there with a shocked look on his face until Jim came out in the hall and told him that since that had been settled he was going downstairs to fix dinner._

Sam was brought out of his musings, still in awe by what he had learned from Caleb and Joshua, when he saw Dean looking all over the house for some unattainable object. "Hey, what on Earth are you looking for?" he asked, hoping to stop Hurricane Dean from undoing all the cleaning he had done earlier.

"My jacket, I know I left it…" Dean trailed off when he saw Sammy holding up the object of his search.

"On the back of the couch where you're wonderful brother put it in the closet for you?" Sam teased. He had asked Dean why he still had the stupid thing considering the reminders that was attached to it, and his older brother surprised him by saying, 'Cause my geeky little brother went through hell to give it to me. Now shut up and pass the popcorn.' Thinking about that always made Sam smile, not because Dean felt attached to his gift, but because he was so attached to _him_.

Dean had just finished putting the jacket on when he looked out the window then at the clock. "So, five bucks says he'll come in late mumbling about a hunt." He said smirking, knowing that it was a no-brainer.

For all the promising that John had made to both boys that any hunting would be _simple salt and burns or exorcisms, and only close by with the possible weekend trip thrown in… and of course __only__ once Sammy was ready_, both boys knew that the day would come when the supernatural world around them would come crashing back into their lives, and they'd be back in full swing. Sam didn't begrudge his dad; in fact the past months staying so close together had made them both realize how much they were needed in the family, how much they both were relied upon; how much they were loved.

Smiling, Sam looked at Dean, "Uh uh, too easy… name the hunt and where you got it the info." He let out a laugh when he heard Dean mumble something about smart aleck little brother's. He was enjoying this taste of normal, but he knew that one day it would all change and they'd be off again. That was ok though, because right now, he had everything he could have ever wanted; his family.

Dean had been looking all over the place for his leather jacket, and as usual, little brother knew exactly where it was. He couldn't help but watch Sammy's face light up when he teased him about knowing where the damn thing was, and that was more than worth any form of ribbing his sibling tossed at him. He remembered how close it had been, then the weeks it took for Sammy's body to get the strength to do the tiniest things like feed himself. No, he wasn't going to take for granted the walking, talking Sammy anytime soon; and he knew their dad felt the same way. Dad had actually started to see Sammy as an extension of himself instead of a responsibility that he couldn't be bothered with. The last several months had been fairly peaceful for all of them, not to say that dad and Sammy didn't get into it, but now it was more of a controlled conflict instead of all out war. Oh he knew that it would go back to the way it was, but for right now he was enjoying what he had; his family safe and sound.

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AN: Hope you liked it... let me know! 


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